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Information for Family & Friends:

Ten Things to Remember if Your Loved One is an Alcoholic or Drug Addict

Think of recovery from this disease as an exciting chance for a new way of living for you and your loved one.

  1. Practice setting healthy boundaries.
    Set boundaries that allow you to safely express your needs and limits clearly and respectfully. Follow through with what you say you will do. Nagging, pleading, preaching or lecturing your loved one may become one of the excuses or reasons she uses to justify continuing her destructive lifestyle.
  2. You are not a victim of the alcoholic or addict.
    If you do not like what is happening in your life look to see what you need to do or can do differently.
  3. Alcoholism and Drug Addiction is a disease.
    It’s compulsive, destructive and baffling. It cannot be controlled by willpower. 
  4. Set limits you are sure you can keep.
    Do not make idle threats.
  5. Monitor your own drinking.
    For the alcoholic, one drink is too much and one thousand is never enough. Drinking with the alcoholic hoping she will drink less, will not decrease her drinking. Instead it may increase her drinking—she may think you condone her drinking by drinking with her.
  6. Recovery needs more than love.
    Love of home and family is rarely enough for an alcoholic to get and stay sober. She will need to devote as much or more time practicing her newly acquired recovery skills and tools as she did using. 
  7. Patience is essential.
    Especially while you and your family are going through recovery together. Remember what they say in AA: “Progress not Perfection.” Be gentle with yourself, take time to nurture yourself, develop new friendships, take up a hobby, and have fun!
  8. Recovery takes time. Relapses happen.
    Relapse is sometimes a part of recovery. If relapse happens for either you or your loved one, get back on the recovery path as soon as you have noticed you have gone off track. “Time takes Time” (an AA slogan)
  9. Examine your own behavior.
    We can’t control, cause, or cure alcoholism or drug addiction, but we can contribute to it. What can you do to minimize your contribution to your loved one’s addiction?
  10. Give Alanon a chance.
    Attend at least six Alanon meetings before deciding if Alanon is right for you.